Dialogue - Finding Your Fiction: Concise Steps to Writing Successful Fiction

"Finding Your Fiction: Concise Steps to Writing Successful Fiction" hubpages are derived from my popular "Finding Your Fiction" workshop in association with St. Louis Writers Workshop and St. Louis Writers Guild. Completed guide is NOW AVAILABLE on KINDLE AND Smashwords.

Introduction - Finding Your Fiction: Concise Steps to Writing Successful Fiction
Plot - Finding Your Fiction: Concise Steps to Writing Successful Fiction
Character - Finding Your Fiction: Concise Steps to Writing Successful Fiction
Point of View - Finding Your Fiction: Concise Steps to Writing Successful Fiction

Increasingly, I have seen the spelling as "dialog," probably because of computers and their use of a "dialog box." While the spelling is technically correct, I find it useful to distinguish between the two. Dialog = computers. Dialogue = written conversation in both fiction and nonfiction.

Also, with the advent of online publishing, and apparent default settings, fiction increasingly is presented in block format with extra space between paragraphs. Unfortunately, if this trend continues, it will deprive writers of essential tools. Space means something. Every word and every space communicates something to the reader. You should manually remove unwanted and unnecessary space.

Why dialogue? Silly of me to ask. Dialogue is essential to plot, character, point of view, style, and tone. Dialogue carries the story forward, informs the reader, and provides a window into the souls of your characters. (See section/chapter on Character.) Even "action thrillers" require dialogue.

Avoid breaking the rules before breaking rules. Before you can begin to write good dialogue, you need to know the mechanics; that is, learn the basic conventions first. Avoid imitating James Joyce or Cormac McCarthy.

Basic Rules of Written Speech

• Use quotation marks.
• A new paragraph is required for every new speaker. (Think Hemingway.)
• Action attributed to a character, before or after the character’s words, belongs in the same paragraph.

Types of Speech

Direct
"Bill, I wish you would leave me alone."
"Bill, leave me alone."
"Bill, you moron, leave me alone."

Indirect
Jenny told Bill she wished he would leave her alone.
Jenny told Bill to leave her alone.
Jenny called Bill a moron and told him to leave her alone.

Interior
I wish you would leave me alone, Jenny thought.
Leave me alone, Jenny thought.
You moron, Jenny thought, leave me alone.

Attributive Verbs

Note the new paragraph for each new speaker.

     "Will you go out with me?" Jack asked.
     "Well…" Jill hesitated.
     "We could go for a meal," he suggested.
     "I’m on a diet," she lied.
     "How about a drink then?" he tired.
     "Jack," she growled.
     "Yes," he cried.
     "Leave me alone!" she snapped.

Obviously, using too many attributive verbs becomes stupid. You can easily rely on "he said" and "she said" as markers identifying your speaker. "Said" is so common that readers tend to overlook it, often viewing it like punctuation.

Supporting Your Dialogue

Dialogue rarely stands alone. When it does, it’s not for long. Plays require stage direction. Movies are overwhelmingly visual and of course also include music.

     "I love you," he said while pouring his coffee.
     "Really?"
     "Yes." He really did love her.
---------
     "I love you," he said while pouring his coffee.
     "Really?"
     He set the coffeepot down and held her gaze for a moment. "Yes," he said.
---------
     "I love you," Jack said, glancing at her, pouring his coffee, opening the refrigerator door, and reaching for the organic nonfat milk.
     "No you don’t," she responded.
     Jack watched his milk swirl into the black coffee. "You’re wrong again,’ he said. "Of course I do."

List of Dialogue Mechanics

While the following dialogue mechanics list is probably not exhaustive, it may feel like it. However, it does show variation in placement of attributive verbs, commas, dashes, dialogue support, and so on.

     Jack said, "She likes men."
     "She likes men," said Jack.
     "She likes men," he said.
     "She likes men," he said excitedly.
     "He likes men," he said with a shrug.
     "She likes men," he said, smiling condescendingly.
     "She likes men," Jack said. "She used to date George."
     "He likes women, and that’s what I love about him," said Jack.
     "She likes men," said Jack, "and that’s what I love about her."
     "Since she likes men," said Jack, "I thought she might like the hockey game."
     "She likes women." Jack shrugged. "I guess I was wrong about her."
     "Does she like men?" Jack asked.
     "She likes men!" Jack shouted.
     "She likes men," Jack mumbled/ murmured/snarled/snapped/bellowed/ etc.
     "She likes hockey" — he turned aside and coughed up some blood — "but I don’t."
     "She likes hockey — at least that’s what she told me — but I don’t," said Jack.
     "She likes hockey, but I—" He lurched forward, the hockey stick hitting him squarely across his jaw.
    "She likes hockey, but I . . . I don’t know . . . I think it’s a questionable sport at best."
    "She likes hockey, but I . . ." His voice trailed off and he seemed lost in thought.

Activities:

Good dialogue gives the impression of real speech, not the actual conversation (paraphrased from Nigel Watts). The following activities (derived from Watts) are designed to show the difference between actual speech and dialogue, and have been popular in my workshops.

Tape record two people getting to know each other. After a few minutes, stop and write down the conversation word for word. Rewrite the conversation.

Tape record two people discussing a third person. After a few minutes, stop and write down the conversation word for word. Rewrite the conversation.

Role-play a scene in which Character A and Character B convince his significant other to help him steal his brother’s brand new mahogany desk and put it in his front lawn.

Role-play a scene in which Character A and B discuss why A should break up/divorce his/her boyfriend/girlfriend, or wife/husband.

Use of Dialogue -- Example

The following example is from my novel Where the River Splits. I try to explain my choice of attributive verbs, types of speech, and dialogue support. Of course, as I take this passage out of context, I immediately think I’ve failed miserably, forgetting that novels are the sum of their parts and what comes before obviously sets up each passage and what comes after. (On the other hand, truly great writing can seem poetic even out of context, and mine doesn’t quite get there.) My inclusion of it here could be a sign of laziness, but I prefer to think of it as efficiency. I remember, more or less, what I was thinking when I chose each word. Trying to do that for someone else’s writing, while not impossible, would be difficult.

     They found an opening in the forest and even though the sun was well above the horizon, David steered them to shore. "This might be the best spot for miles," he reasoned. (I used the attributive verb "reasoned" because I wanted to emphasize David’s character as someone who thought himself reasonable but who acts to the contrary later.)
     "You would know," she said.
     David looked at her, unsure if she was being sarcastic again. (This sort of "interior speech" shows that their relationship has problems, that is, he cannot simply ask her if she is being sarcastic.) "How would I know? I’ve never been here before, have you?" (The tone is accusatory.)
     "What I meant was, you have the map. That’s all." (No need for an attributive verb, as it is obvious who is speaking, and the tone reveals Susan’s generally non-confrontational attitude at this early stage in her character development.)
     "Right," he said, remembering a time when their conversation showed nothing but admiration for one another, when camping meant making love in the open air and falling asleep in each other’s arms. Now they were ready to argue about maps; he loved maps and their possibilities, but Susan showed only moderate interest. (Interior dialogue reveals David’s longing for the past, contrasting it with their present state, and providing important information about both their characters that will affect the plot.)